Explore! Moving on...

     I have taken far too long to come back around to blogging.  I apologize if that is becoming somewhat of a swan song.  It irritates me as well.
     I have decided to take this project with a grain of salt...have you ever noticed how salt enhances the flavor of things?
     So far I have addressed the words:    Execute
                                                              Effect
                                                              Emit
                                                              Examine
                                                              Eliminate
                                                     and   Exact
     Today I am choosing the word Explore.
     Explore's primary sense is to stretch, strain, drive; applied to the voice, it is to strain or press out sounds or words;  applied to the eyes, it is to stretch or reach, as in prying curiosity.

1. To search for making discovery;  to view with care;  to examine closely by the eye. (Moses sent spies to explore the land of Canaan).
2. To search by any means;  to inquire with care;  to examine closely with a view to discover truth;  as, to explore the depths of science.

     A little like Examine, but a little different, too.  I like this word because it implies, to me, adventure.  I would like to make this project an adventure of exploration rather than a TEST...which the word Examine "means" to me.
     Both of these words are good ones but I am liking this one (explore) tonight.
     I have a coach helping through this process...I think she is willing to be there for me as I endeavor to succeed in this thing.  She knows that I want to come through this a better person...more focused on positive things so that I can be less focused on myself and more focused on helping others in the long run.
     The examination process showed me that I am not as broken and/or worn out as I thought I was.  I am more like the Victorian estate that looks like it is ready to be scrapped but really has "good bones" and just needs a little tender loving care to make it glorious again.
     When I wake in the morning I will have this word in the forefront of my mind...I have a purpose for the day.
     At 10:00am I will be at the optometrist's office...we will be exploring the virtues and short comings of my vision...deciding if I need to replace my glasses with a new correction or keep the same correction but replace faulty lenses.
     I am sort of correcting my "vision" with the program.  I am adjusting how I see myself in the grand plan of life...mortality.  And I am exploring other possibilities about myself.  I am a lot stronger, kinder, substantial than I have given myself credit for.  And I fit differently than I have tried to make myself believe...better, I think.  And I think that this helps me see things from a different perspective, you know the challenges that come up in life, the bumps in the road.  They don't have to be terrible things anymore.  They can be different from what I have made them out to be and they "feel" better than they did before.  I don't know if that makes sense to you but it does to me right now.
     I am NOT blowing my own horn, nor am I looking to prove anything to ANYone other than myself here.  I really do believe that we are harder on ourselves than we need to be...than we ever should be.
     The admonition is "Thou shalt not avenge, nor bear any grudge against the children of they people, but thou shalt love they neighbour as thyself: I am the LORD."  Leviticus 19:18
     "Love they neighbor as thyself"  don't hold a grudge...don't hold a grudge against yourself either.  It just makes sense.
     How do you love anyone if you don't love yourself?

So I will explore this concept...and eliminate some grudges that I have against myself...and execute change...and emit more positive, loving energy (which becomes a lot easier when the hard feelings are eliminated and replaced with more charitable feelings)...and appreciate the effects.

Here is to Growing and Glowing!
Onward and Upward!
Tari